Yesss, snow in England! You heard me right! I was so excited to wake up to it, although we still had school. It had melted by about 2pm but it was still lovely to have any at all! We rarely do. =)

I had a rough day today. I rarely cry at school but today I was told that I cannot carry on with BOTH English Language and English Literature next year and I will have to choose between my two favourite subjects that I love more than anything else in the world. It is not a stipulation of the exam board, simply a regulation at my particular school. I am at a loss as to what to do. I love English more than anything, our whole world is shaped and moulded by language and its history yet literature is equally important and I love to read, so I cannot fathom being told that I have to choose between the two things I love most. I love English as much as I do photography and I cannot imagine having to drop one in September. Your passion is something you think will never be taken away from you, something you can always pursue, but to be forbidden to carry on with one of the things I love most because it is "too much work" breaks my heart.
I am not a normal teenager. I do not go out to parties. I do not drink, I have never had a boyfriend, I have never even kissed! My schoolwork is important to me and I can think of nothing better than having a whole pile of English essays to work through (sad as that may seem). I consistently get A grades and I read all the time, therefore I find it to difficult to understand why my teachers do not embrace such a student who would be delighted to devote her life to the subject. Perhaps it is trivial to even ponder such matters when there are children starving in Africa and suicide bombers planning attacks in the Middle East but it is hard to know that you will be stripped of what makes you happy. I cannot possibly choose. I don’t know what to do - to go and speak to my own teacher or the Head of Department, to plead, to beg, to write…Next year is the year when we are supposedly given freedom to choose what WE want to study - "Choose the subjects you love!", they say with glee - yet there is me, a quiet girl too shy to protest, who is left without the freedom to choose what she loves. It just isn’t fair.
So today I started crying on the stairwell, between 2nd period and 3rd. The girls huddled around me, hugging and comforting, but I knew they didn’t really understand. They like school alright but they don’t love it like me and sometimes my heart aches to be like them, to only have to worry about hairstyles and MySpace. But I am me and I don’t want to change. I just want to do what I love. And I am heart-renderingly sad that it is being snatched away from me.
Apologies, for the frivolous teenage rant. Thanks for reading, I guess I just needed to let out my feelings. I’ll take any advice I can get!